Nothing at all

Looking around.. Left to right Right to left.
Ohhh.. I feel sleepy.. Hehe..

Good Night everyone
LOVE YOU YOU YOU YOU AND YOU! :D

Not tonight

It's close to 4am, I don't know what I doing.

Getting close to old memories, getting far from my assignment.
What a sad case.

Lite.fm playing "Miss you like crazy" whilst I'm viewing his profile and looking some old pics.
Just a coincidence I know, and comes another song "It must have been love"?

I means what the heck going around.
Well, he still touch me in deep down side.
But everything end, in past three years, ain't?

I miss everything between us.
Just, miss it.

Conflict

We have a dream, aren't?
I have a dream too. But doesn't share for today.

Well, talk about my bro's dream.
Bakery shop.

Story start from here, my bro told us can borrow loan from "bank" to start a business plan for fresh graduated.

I'm kinda excited.

Blah blah blah --- Okay, point here. My mom wasn't that much agreed with high risk due my brother was graduated under IT not bakery. She said dependable with others might failure the business especially Chef is a important role in "Kitchen". I'm agree with this point, 0% knowledge killing human with no doubt, but my bro will take a course if really wanted to. Maybe a little bit late. But, NOTHING IS GOING TOO LATE.

(Actually I agreed with bro go for DREAM, and I want a share might be failure but I wanna have a hit on it) LOL.

Another side, my dad, well, I think he quite encourage us to have a risk.
No pain no gain what he always said to us.

At least, now I didn't regret to continue my degree now.
I'm so great I have choose business but not major in Marketing. (Thanks god I didn't choose Marketing). It wasn't my first choice cause I could learn it realistic.

HRM actually is my weakness, I think. I have no idea with Economic. So, I make a right choice!
It'll be difficult for sure next 2 years. But try my best. :)

Finance my sis good with it. So I have no worry.

Just see it, what'll happen in future.

Day by Day

Look back what I wrote. I was "LOL"
All is about him, him and him.

Now I doubt myself, am I really get into this guy?
Ahhha, NO? But, I do miss him sometimes.

Ohh hell, forget about that.

Back to what I wanna say

I describe she as "MISS J"

I'm kinda surprise Miss J is still updating with my blog.
No idea since I received her message and asked me.

Haha. She is sweet. I guess sometimes we can't be friend too. :)
Yes we're friend just not that close.

People, just try to be nice. Arrogant lead u no where.

Life

Right here, it's midnight. Suppose to be a little piggy having a baby sleep in the coldest night.

But what, ton of assignments, researching and readings. And the point, I can't get into it. That's all.

Am I really can support myself for 2 years study? Not that far, two years but kinda hard.
I doesn't means that works it's better ways for me, I do enjoy my life now, seem so, I don't know.

A little bit struggle, dilemma, confuse, frustrated, maybe upset too. (Negative thinking though)
Sometimes do think should I go for psychologic? I'm the psychological in the end. I can clearly analyse for myself what and what. But this driving me crazy too! Knowing too much and understand yourself is doesn't means a good thing. I means sometimes I rather to be a dumb. A real dumb.

Thinking of suicide too? Hell no maybe yes? See, I have a problem, and I don't know how to release. Shopping? Time wasted, money wasted but I do love shopping. Yoga? I did registered, just a mad I haven't got it.

Motivation doesn't lead me sometimes. I needs more and more and more, just can't get enough for myself.

I know myself well, I have a point but I don't it become argument. It's actually a virtual, lecturer like argument, examination likes arguments, and I have a point just never show up.

I believe that people surround me kinda influence. "A", can I describe them as peaceful and harmony? They're just ------- this way. HARMONY TEAM

However B, I quite enjoy with them so far, it's a good time for me to improve my language skills, and it does.

Between both of two gangs, I have become a cheerful follower and silent leader. Sucks right?

I means, come on, what kinds of life.

By the way, I haven't mention my youngest brother is still enjoying his game. How relax huh?

2 weeks to go, hopefully.

:D

Ohh, I make it short, I guess it's pretty good and pretty nice? :D

and I pretty love it! So, that's no problem.

Wednesday

It's wednesday night, or thursday midnight.
Whatever! Well Dar, how yours day?

Everything okay? Sick recovered?

Or hang out with your buddies right now?

You know, I'm still waiting..

Waiting for a call?
Waiting you to show up?
Maybe just a message.

And everthing will fine.
We're good. Yea, will be.

No I wasn't okay at all. :(

Everything just remind me of you.

Half Hour!

Half hour to go, my Birthday end..

He never show up, even a call, or a simple message?

just Happy Birthday.

NO, I don't get it.

I had removed you as my friend, don't you ever notice.

What's wrong? I act so immature.

Are we going to end the relationship like this?

I miss you so bad.

Well, I can't believe I still hooked up with baby, he married.
What's going on with me?! I'm so lost! I need someone.

Days 3

Cel, HappyBirthday.

Take care yourself, don't always get sick :(

Take a promise.. Okay?

Tenderness

Don't know why, something pushing me out, and I did it.
You're no longer in my list. You might think this way is childish but for me I'll be more better.

Let have some fun guess, when'll you realize we' not friends anymore.
Hmm.. is a good guess. I guess you never pay attention on it.

You know what, you never take care for each relationship.
Why I said so, you avoid ing, don't you.

Sometimes, I rather get hurt instead getting so confusing.
Waiting waiting waiting.

Maybe? I take everything serious when you just tried to made a conversation.
I was think bout our's future. My husband is a workacholic and drive crazy everywhere for work.
Life is so wonderful and beautiful. Now all gone. No more.

My only tenderness is letting you free.
No annoying, no jealousy, nothing.

Gone silently, now my turns.

Birthday

It's my birthday month. NO, it suppose to be our's.
But now, I guess no more.

Love, is it a question?

And people try all the best to get an answer.
In the end, the answer will never be what they want.

I'm trying to let you? Should be me, let my self free.
No suffer ing, no guess ing, no think ing any bullshit.

You don't even know how much hurting when missing you.

Cause you're still a free man as you want to be.
No control. No relationship. No stabel. But lust and flirt.

I serious though we' meant to each other.
You broke my heart. You broke everything.
No promises No commitment.

If there is still a chance we meet, I'll say Hello Stranger?

Happy Advanced Birthday Dar!

Re-Move

Raining day.. remind me the day we went to Penang..

Let me guess, you woke up early in the morning went to work while I'm still sleeping.
It's a routine, everyone know.

I'm thinking to remove something, should be delete.

Hmm.. remove you in my friends list and

I won't know what ya doing.
Who actually you're connected with.

Since we don't care anymore.

And you know what, God must be kidding with me.

Everything I feel like doing, and something will stop me from that.

So, what if I do it now? :)

I do!

Dream had comes true in ma dream!

Here the story.

I went for a dinner with Cel and that was my B'day dinner as well.
We actually discuss maybe for where to dine but ended up with a little fight. (Don't actually remember where we went, ignore?)

So, the rest bla bla bla.. It suddenly comes to proposal.

Guess I'm yelling.. HELL YESSSS! HUNDRED THOUSAND YESHH.. AND I AWAKE! LOL

Back to realistic, it was just a dream! :_:

Say hello to goodbye

Just thinking..
Just wondering..

Whatever?

7 days a week, dar will back!

But, why.. I feel weird?
I don't think we'll meet up this time.. serious..
Uhhh.. I don't know why I act this way!

This is so damn stupid for me..

I'm sure I look like dumbass right now!

So, am I still expect?
I guess I think too much!

It been while

Oppss, it been while I never active my blog.

Oh yes, I'm graduated. Everyone congrats to me but why? without Dar, always. (The great news)

and damn, my uncle passed away. It's came too fast.
I was cried and cried, days. But what, it's still a fact that never be change.

How about me and him?

Arghhhhh.. I'm so sick :)

:)

I have no idea how many times I cried yesterday night.

Can't fall asleep, can't stop thinking bullshit.

It's kind of torture for me.

I'm so tired right now.

Just for you! :))))))))))))

I'm not a kid. Don't create dramatic story to tell what and what.

Yea. You're not my boyfriend, I have no qualified to say anything between you and her.
I'm the moron idiot stupid who trust on you and believe that you're the one.

I'm such an idiot to tell everyone I so want to be with you.
and now what.

I won't believe this anymore.
Whatever you like, whatever. I won't care
No one will ask.

As you wish.

!!!

My dream had come true.

He was with her, again.

Maybe, she is the special one for you!
FINE. Whatever, I don't care.

Just fuck off!

I hate you!

Happy Birthday! :D

William B'day, alright.
I didn't send him a wish.

But now, here.
Happy Birthday William. :D
Have a full blast with your girl friend Vendy right?

I don't mind, yup. really, I don't lie.
But, you'll never get my bless.
Nope. Definitely No. Sorry for the selfishness. But still no.

Hmm, guess what.
4 years. But never have a celebration for our's b'day
Why, we break up. Everytime sad story right?

I still remember, the first break, your birthday.

Okay. I'm trying to say
Thanks for your forgiveness.

Yea. Really. You're the best ever I met.
So, you deserve better. :D

Little shock

Ewww I'm thinking something.

Something can be shock, surprise and a little bit of romantic
Hahah. Guess what :P

Hmm.. I hope dar can get a "toy" I mean soft bear when he back and visit me. :D
LOL *dreaming*

Cause what, he never see this, and he won't know what I thinking.

I did *hint*, but it doesn't work I guess.

Hmm.. fine. As I know, It won't be happen. :)
It's alright.

refresh

repeat and repeat. repeat and repeat.

I miss everything about us
don't you?

I miss it badly

the way you talk
the way you sing
and
everything we did

William

Should I feel happy with it?

He accept my friend request, that fast.
Heart beating fast while I saw it.

He still remember me?
No idea. I guess we need some talk.

Just

He did online.
He did active.
He did everything.

But just we didn't talk.

And I ask myself again, again and again.
Why? Repeat and repeat.
I don't get the answer.

Maybe he just don't want getting more.
Stop here, could be better.

Not necessary

从来没得过的，何必为它感到遗憾!
不需要，真的，没这个必要..

也许，你不是那么的重要..
抱着没必要的期望，也没这个必要..

一个一个的删除，抹去我对你的感觉
未来，我看不见
也许，还是没这个必要

最后一次机会，就给自己吧!

不要高估一段不值得留恋的感情!

我很好!!!!!!!!! :))

Timing

今天，不聊他，聊另一个他

很多事情总是围着一个timing
因为它，很多事情总是重复了又重复

这还真让人疲累

TIMING啊TIMING
你会是我们之间的障碍吗?

希望，你不是 :(

原来，得不到的永远是最珍贵的!
我却希望，得到的是最珍贵的!! :))))

我的另一半
你在考我的耐心吗?

Speechless

dot dot dot dot dot

I don't know what can I say.
Sometimes silent and smile is the best reaction to answer nothing
and I do agree.

I'm speechless with your works
I'm waiting waiting waiting, and 2 weeks gone.

Even a call, no! Just a message, you never reply.
Maybe, you're just too busy.

and what, I'm still waiting, but get nothing.

Dar

T______________T

Arghhhh, where my dar!?
Never online, never whatsapp, he was totally lost for 24 hours!

Missssssssssss him badly!!
Dar, where are you!!

Ish

What to do when dar so fed up with his job
Errrk, I don't know what can I say
I don't know how to help

I can't.. even I want to

Ishhhhhhh

7 stages

Meeting- Chase- Honeymoon- Comfortable- Tolerance- Downhill and last Break up

Which stage we been?
I hope it is just meeting :)

The first one, always the greatest one
Or Honeymoon, I would like that

I think, we just pass it
and now come to comfortable

It's actually can be good also
But hope won't go to downhill and we break up

Skip the chase, cause never start
Pass through these stage, we could be forever :)

10.32pm

Dar still working, it's already 10.19pm quite late
I bet he doesn't had a good slept for whole week, even tonight

And me? Having serious flu
sighhhhhh T__T

Dar ask me eat porridge but hahahaha
Nope, Nasi Kandar as my lunch
Blame my brother, he want that :P
I had no choice

No more

Another night just pass, no motivated yea
It's saturday night, and he didn't call me up

Had a great dinner with primary school teacher :)

But sorry guys, second round make me feel suck
I can't even motivate myself enjoy around

convince myself you're not the right one
no and no and no!!

And I tried to talk with you, guess what
YOU"RE JUST IGNORE ME

Is it means what you try to say?

Connection

C & C 's Journey? Guess what
It properly state the wrong wrong definitely wrong title

Since when,
We don't care what we doing
We don't care when we asleep
We don't care when and what is the last talk

A weak connection between us
As we said, fragile line :)

Sometimes, things we can't capture, just let it go
You'll feel better ever

Sick

No reason for this
No reason for this
No reason for this
and no reason for this!

The sentences keep pop out in my mind
Just fuck off!

There is no reason for me? or he? or what errkk.. idk
This totally sick!

I'M SICK OF MYSELF

Yesterday

Yesterday night, what I did? Lol

Owhhh, yum cha with lem lem and 2 other friends :D
serious, such a long time never drink, can't take it more than 1.. even 1 :P

Dar, you know, I haven't slept well this dew days
I thinking what we had did, what we had said
and I smile

So, don't leave me like this, okay?

Sigh

Hell, he does meant it OMG
How should I reply? What should I reply?

T______________T

Ahhh, can't we just be friends?
I thought it increase my social world but not increase the numbers of "choices"?

Guys, I'm not that good, don't come to me!!

Good day!?

Ish Ish, I so damn lucky and unlucky today..

I got lot people help me on survey so the problem solve, I don't need to waste any time to think think think and answer for myself! Hahahah damn good :D

The unlucky one, ahhh.. I don't know

Dar never find me for whole day :(
Just another day!

It soon become days!
OMG OMG OMG, I don't want this become true
That's totally suck!

I want him! :(

I tried to do anything just fill up the time and try not thinking dar, but it's doesn't work at all

Just wish he was here with me! :(

And still the same, Keith and Rayson will message me on time!
Ahhh.. I feel so "sorry" to them, cause I just can't have another chance or choice to

Hope I thinking too much and it's doesn't means what you guys meant..

Sydney!

Hmm.. Sydney! I wanna go with my dar! hehehe :)
Since he told me go honeymoon! But sure he forget what he said dy

He didn't call me up for day already,and we didn't talk *sigh*
This is the first time and I pray this can't be the last time T.T

Things too easy to get hard to treasure, it is means easy come easy go? Lol

Haiya, whatever lah, I'm so sick with questioning
Cause I never get the answer so what?

If he does really care about this, he will come and talk with me!
and won't disappear cause he know I'll be worry :)

So, let it be!
I'm okay!

13th June

Two days to go!

2 months for us :D
nope, for me, just me

He don't even remember when we met, what we talked :P
Am I right?

Day :)

Another day
Good day? Bad day? Who know? :P

But it consider as a sad day, I don't get my durian!! :(

Mom & Dad going balik pulau enjoy durian party!
and me?? Stay at home and going to fetch me brother! Arghhhh

T_____T

Dar went back for work
gonna wait for another few months? *sigh*

Each time we met, I feel like don't wanna let him go!
Just because I don't know when is the next will be! :(

And stupid him don't know I MISS HIMMMM that muchhhhh more than everything!

gaps!

Answer

William? Lycan?
Is it still the same person I knew?

Is it they break up?
I wanna know, someone, anyone can just please tell me :(

and I question myself, a answer can't be anything

It's a hint for you, he change the name that he used for so long

and guess what, he is still the reason for me tears drop
I'm so not alright

I miss you :)

Hmmmm

Celvin Quah, you better ask me for breakfast or something before you go back!

If not I'm not going to talk with you

one week!! :P

maybe two weeks? hehe
or one month! Blek :P

Too much

Stupid I, dar really the right one, always said I think too much
Yessss!! I'm :D

I thought dar never care
but yesterday it was really surprise me

just suddenly
he called and told he was here!

What if?

Oh? A day gonna end soon
and guess what? We never talk since last yesterday night

Maybe, he is too busy
even a time for me to argue with him is not available
Nope, I don't want to have any argument, I just want you give me a little time to talk
Just like before

I wonder,
What if I go away, did you care?

Is it never bother you, even one second

Take it easy

Dar ah, what's wrong with us?

Why you seem don't care anything more
Or you never care?

Actually who am I for you?
Friend? Just friend? Is it?

If yes, please tell me

You're not only my friend
I thought you knew that?

Surprise

!! Big surprise!
Is it trueee?
or I get fool?

*OMG*
I'm serious in confuse mode!

And Celvin Quah! I Hate You!!

Routine

Nothing special happen today
Hmm.. as usual keith find me chat in facebook

and me? waiting dar message me chat with me
talk with him just like a routine
I hope every night get a call from dar, even 5 min

I love the voice when he just woke
blur voice haha but I lovee it so much

Jealous

Dar just told me nothing can make him feel jealous
He is not dying for anything girls, money except homesick

Yea.. he got a very serious homesick
When he back to home, I don't even have a minute to talk with him

I'm really fall for this guy
serious, I said never want to talk with him anymore
but every time he came to me and make me laugh

Hmm.. hopefully... *pray*

*Dar, I wonder u checking my blog? If yes, tell me! Okay?* :P

I don't know

Honestly, I don't know

I don't know what to do?
I don't know who am I actually for yo?
I don't know why I so fed up when I saw what I really not want to

I like you
Yea, I like you that much
Maybe, I'm pull myself to hell.. I did

I wanna apologize for what I said
But, you care? Is it important?

Cy, stop thinking!!

WTF?

Ahhhhh!! Early morning mood get spoil

What the hell
Can anyone tell me!?

Alright, I don't wanna know anymore
It's so annoying and disgusting!!

4 months

June --> July --> August --> September --> October 

4 months to go 

dar ah, miss you badly 

When you gonna come back accompany me again? :P

Laksa? Movie? Racing? and Ice-cream? 

No.. next time should be different.. deal? 

D only one

As a final decision, I create a new blog
Just for my special someone who doesn't belong with me

The first post for my new blog will be everything about you <3

My someone, what to say?

A man who getting 26 soon, so save your's money don't spent all okay?
A man who doesn't let me spend one cent on him
A man who owe me fifty cent
A man who always didn't pick up my call
A man who always let me wait for him
A man who always want me to feel jealous, alright u did
A man who always work work work non stop, workaholic
A man who will celebrate belated birthday with me,so bring me along with you!
A man who doesn't want buy me a pair of shoes
A man who flirt with a girl or maybe girls.. I don't know :(
A man who always try something to let me boiling just for mission completed
A man who knew what I thinking and how I feel
A man who take his promises and let me feel he is the right one
A man who teach me how to appreciate and treasure
A man who I really wanna be with he

This is my special someone.. also the only one
Maybe there is no others like you :)